just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Hahaha I asked him about her bjs and he said "I would not wish that on anyone"
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
