Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
At 10 PM you were shit faced in the kitchen makin nachos... Naked. I wasn't sure what to do besides walk away...
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