This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize