Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
man i wonder what i would be like if i had never started smoking weed
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
