why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Rock
Scissors
Fuck
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
His dog hid my thong. Let me tell you, the last thing you want during a commando mini skirt walk of shame is lots of wind. There’s a church congregation that knows all my business
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
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