im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
What happened to my face?
You kneed yourself in the eye during the Harlem Shake.
It was impressive.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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