Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
The highlight of my night will be digging in other people's garbage
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
