come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
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