what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Randomize
