what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
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He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
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