from now on my penis is your penis
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I am far too sober to understand you right now. sorry.
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