I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
theres a difference between trying to make someone happy and letting them fuck you in the ass
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
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