dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
Tuesday night just isn't my ideal coke binge night.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
i spent most of my hangover doing the math to figure out the last of the alcohol would be metabolized from my system.
thank you pre-med degree.
I wanna get to the point where I can just send a question mark and get an exclamation point in response
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
