Old men and throwing up are my life now.
Want any specific kind of beer?
Yeah. Alcohol flavor.
Got it. Anything but Miller.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
Randomize
