i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
Jesus Christ, she just started playing Enya and is humming along to it. Way, way, way too hungover to deal with her shitty taste in music
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
Oh I was gonna ask you the same thing...? It's official ask anyone to see your husbands dick day.
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
He snapchated me a photo of his penis with the caption "it needs a home".
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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