there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
Randomize
