Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
