She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Nothing quite like spending your evening singing Shania Twain I Feel Like a Woman barbershop quartet Style with some homeless guys outside of Keyport liquor. love Shania Twain. How's your Sunday?
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