i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize