i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
my purse only fit my wallet or the martini shaker. it wasnt even a question of which i was bringing.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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