Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize
