this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I just found out the FDA voted to ban Vicodin, my last connection to this world has been destroyed
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Just thought to myself "I should practice shotgunning a beer before Wednesday." I don't think my GPA is going to like this semester.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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