how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Not sure why, but I was running back and forth across the road. Cab hit me and gave us a free ride home.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
It's a sad statement on my day when the high point was getting a pap test.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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