Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He texts me "what are you wearing" in the middle of the workday, so naturally I assume he's kidding and respond "the blood of my enemies" #foreveralone
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My liver has officially said "fuck this shit" and escaped from my body.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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