I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
We found her in the fireplace eating dog biscuits.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
i feel like if my pee,blood, or vomit is on it...it should belong to me by default. can we make that a rule?
Randomize
