whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
