Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Randomize
