This random guy asked me if I had downs. I was like up yours! And I got out of his car.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
he asked me to marry him on one of those scrolling message belt buckels.... what now?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to come in and have some water before I drove home, my vagina didn't stand a chance escaping. We didn't even make it to the kitchen.
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Do you think showing up at his door with bourbon and chicken is too forward?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
Randomize