you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
the ceiling is raining jello shotss
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
Oh, and also, a couple of straight girls showed up. But they ran away.
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
If I get back to the house before you, I'm setting up the swing. If you get there before me, it's chains and cuffs.
Randomize
