you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
I still love him regardless of his misguided forays into heterosexuality
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I need a rain check on breakfast. A frat boy said it was his dream to sleep with a MILF, I made his dream come true and he made me cum
There is no way I’m wasting 21 year old morning wood
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