He then proceeded to try to whisper up my nose...
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I just put bronzer on my abs to snapchat nudes. If that's not going hard I don't know what is
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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