Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
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