I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
how many americans can say they have been laid before eating their first big mac?
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
