I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
