they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I have feelings that need drinking.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
