I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
