Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Listen this is important.. if I die tonight you have to be the drug dealer at my funeral
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
Randomize
