I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I'm sorry for peeing on your door. But it was your decision to open it.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
As long as you keep bringing fries home, i'll keep being naked when you get home
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I just shit out all my problems.
I feel like him using the excuse "I'm not a fan of lying" to stop me from sleeping around is hypocritical since he's cheating on his wife with me.
Randomize
