yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
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Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Who knew there were so many rules and judgements about laying on a kitchen floor. I'm all like I'm resting. It just happens to be on a kitchen floor.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Listen, I just paid for a hotel room, so I didn't have to have sex in his car. I'm adulting successfully.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
I had a good weekend too...although I cried about the dog in a drunken stupor last night...not one of my finest moments, but it's all water under the bridge.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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