i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Best case scenario: sex with hot bartender \nWorst case scenario: no sex and punched by tattooed guy that may or may not be said bartenders boyfriend.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
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