Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
she smelled like a LAN party
yeah so our basement was flooded 4 feet. we just smoke and drank and then went swimming. gotta make the best out of it
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
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