I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
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