he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
Randomize
