If a woman tells you she has been pink socked...don't move forward with her.
You were screaming at a bartender last night for not referring to you as god.
and apparently I tried to pay for beer with a tampon.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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