Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I ishhh haha are u coming nack easyer?
the fact that I know you're asking me if I'm coming home for easter makes me believe I speak fluent vodka.
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Do you remember coming over and asking for toast and then singing that yeah toast song very loudly while you were dropping my bread all over my kitchen?
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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