You can bone my sister, but I will end our friendship if you write 'LOLERS' one more time at the end of your texts.
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
