and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
Drunk purchased a negligee, plan b, keds and Himalayan salt shot glasses.. there’s only one reasonable purchase there, and we both know it’s not the sneakers
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
I woke up under a house in Key West
Randomize
