'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
You went full blown lifeguard... You wouldn't let me sleep until I was in the safety position, so I wouldn't die in my sleep...
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
Randomize
