one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I piss off the neighbors just so I can have someone to compete with.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Randomize
