I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
I'm posted up in the bathroom at au bon pain, high as balls, experimenting with eyeshadow combinations and listening to 90s jlo. The girl in the stall next to me just plopped a big one and I laughed, hope I ruined her day
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I am one with the molecules
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
