At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
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