I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
U know that drunk state, where at 930 the next morning your sitting in a bath in ur bathing suit trying to sober up...yeah. That's where i am..
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
Randomize
