Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I'm pretty sure the bus driver knew how hung over I was and hit all the pot holes on purpose. I threw up into my water bottle.
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I literally am filling up a victoria's secret bag with stuff that would give my parents a heart attack to hide in my roommates' room. This is being an adult when parents visit
Randomize
