THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
I'm covered in egg mcmuffin wrappers and my room smells like dead hooker.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Randomize