as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This 35 year old just told me that he was headed to the dance floor and it was about to get real dangerous......was that an invite?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
We made out and he didn't grope me. I liked it. I felt like I was innocent again.
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
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