Note: fake nails and fingering anus.... Not a good idea
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
Only the sound of Friends and my gulping of wine are masking the sounds of my roommate getting laid
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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