i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I just want to have sex and eat oreos. and then take body shots. like everyday.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
He is a real estate investor who’s face I’m going to sit on.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
