Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
