How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
fun fact of the day: the man setting up my checking account at my bank has thrown up on my front lawn.
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
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